AdverTERRIBLE

Sometimes targeted banner ad campaigns display some silly stuff. But I’ve never seen it screw up three times on one page. Check this out.

I just read this great article at Ecorazzi about Mayim Bialik (Blossom, The Big Bang Theory) and her green lifestyle.

She’s talking about how her whole family lives minimally in order to leave a smaller eco footprint. She makes sacrifices like eliminating paper towels and unnecessary electronics to help the environment.

Here’s an excerpt.

You lead a minimalist lifestyle, which I’m sure helps you and your family to leave a small footprint on the planet. What are some of the ways your minimalist philosophies help the environment during day to day life?

Well, eliminating paper towels is something that I never thought I would do but I did it! A few packs of simple cloth washcloths (and cloth diapers that have been sterilized) do all of our cleaning up. It’s a significant reduction in waste. We are vegan, which may not make a huge impact from just us, but the fact that so much of our world’s resources go to housing and feeding animals makes us happy to not be a part of that even in a small way. Elimination Communication (a method of learning a baby’s potty cues, thus reducing the need for diapers!) was a fantastic illustration for me of how much money and landfill space you save by not relying on disposable or cloth diapers! And teaching our boys that we don’t buy every single thing they ask for teaches them (and reminds us!) to simply consume less!!

So what do they advertise on the page? Bounty brand paper towels, Kodak Playsport cameras and Epson inkjet printers. That’s right, paper towels and electronics.

BTW, It really is a good interview. Visit Ecorazzi for the rest.

Nothing says kiss me like sittin’ on the potty!

Fletcher’s children’s laxative now comes with a free Softlips lip gloss. Um… ewww.

Maybe their slogan should be “Soften your lips while we soften your stools.”

Think you can do better? Comment your own slogan below.

Thanks for my friend, Laura, who shot this pic at the CVS in Gastonia, NC. 

Ever test drive a pre-owned vehicle, glance in the back seat and wonder what that little stain is all about?

Well wonder no more.

Dale Wurfel makes no bones (ha!) about the fact that his cars have been around the block a few times. In fact, he thinks you should look for car with more, er, experience.

Before you chalk this up to sleazy local used car dealers just being themselves, look closer at the second slick. That was put out by BMW’s corporate marketing department.

I feel icky.

I’ve got a special treat for all you Jason Voorhees fans out there. You get the Friday the 13th movie trailers to not one, not two, but all the films right here in one convenient spot.

Part 1: When Jason was a skinny little handicapped boy and Kevin Bacon was an unknown aspiring actor.

Part 2: When Jason had a bag on his head.

Part 3: In 3D and Jason finally gets a hockey mask.

Part 4: The [not-so] Final Chapter

Part 5: Corey Feldman gives us a New Beginning

Part 6: Jason Lives [again]. Very vague trailer. Could have also changed the name on the grave and used it for an Easter promotion. Starring Erin Gray of Silver Spoons fame.

Part 7: The New Blood. Jason vs. Psycho-Kenesis Girl.

Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan. Mr. Voorhees goes on holiday.

Part 9: Jason Goes to Hell. Yet another “final” Friday the 13th movie. But we all know that’s not true.

Part 10: Jason X. In a bizarre twist, Jason Voorhees ends up on a space ship in the distant future and gets and upgrade with cybernetic implants.

Freddy Vs. Jason: This is the one fans had been screaming for. Jason Voorhees and Freddy Kruger battle it out and slice up some immoral teens in the process. #spoiler Nobody wins.

The Reboot: 2009. Michael Bay re-imagines the legend.

Defend your favorite. Comment below.

Happy Friday!

This week’s Friday Fail is brought to you by GG Studio. They decided to screw sidestep the whole under construction page thing and just put their half-finished website right out there for public ridicule.

Click on their all-Flash (we’ll get to that later) website to see level after hideous level of failure. Let’s dissect, just for fun.

You get not one, but two languages of unfinished glory.

The content pages boxes are filled with Lorum Ipsum text, empty image spaces and unclickable links.

The entire site is built in Flash. Dude, that is sooo000 2002.

Click on the blog (the only thing that works) and you get flashed with some bizarre metallic nipple action.

If all this stuff is too horrifying, it’s okay. They’ll just mind-wipe you with horrible music that’s hard to shut off and you won’t remember a thing.

Who am I? What floor is this?

Safer Internet Day TV Commercial

Today’s WTF moment embarrassing little secret  is brought to you by Insafe – the European network of Awareness Centres promoting safe, responsible use of the Internet and mobile devices to young people (according to their own website).

This just freakishly ludicrous. First off, the kid looks like the love child of the T-1000 and another T-1000. You half expect him to jack into the web with his liquid metal arm.

So anyway, Terminator Boy finds a wealth of news and information on the internet.

Hooray for the inter-webs! We’re finding treasures beyond our wildest dreams.

Then things go menacingly wrong.

A cute An obnoxious girl in a bikini top pops out of the computer, coughs and starts laughing at Terminator Boy’s baby picture. Then she give us a weird look and disappears.

Warning message reads: “It’s not just a game. It’s your life.”

The whole thing ends with a computer mouse dry-humping the world.

Wait. What?

I don’t know how this kid’s mommy issues promote safer internet use, but I need a palate cleanser.

Want a sure-fire way to get your little angel pummeled beyond all recognition every recess? Just pass this J.Crew ad around the schoolyard.

In J.Crew’s “Saturday with Jenna” web page, Jenna Lyons is seen painting her son’s toenails and declares pink as his favorite color. Either one of those things spells a fate worse that death on any schoolyard in the civilized world.

Poor little Beckett. He’s so innocent and doesn’t have a clue. It’s not your fault your mom wanted a girl.

Yes, Mom, this kid’s future is screwed. If he doesn’t grow up gay, he will spend his entire life trying to compensate for this single J.Crew ad.

Hope you enjoyed your day off.

Poor little Kim. Can’t seem to catch a break.

These poorly placed news articles lead one to believe North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il donated stolen cash to Japan’s earthquake relief.

Guess that’s what you get for being a ruthless tyrant.

Happy Friday.

Okay, I’ve heard of killing kittens, but this is just plain un-natural.

I’m gonna take the high road and avoid any jokes about the other name for cat. That’s just too easy.

There’s plenty else to puke about in this Fancy Feast cat food commercial. Let’s break it down.

We open to a Katherine Zeta Jones wannabe bringing her dream guy home to meet her cat.

The pampered pet lives with Ward & June Cleaver who tele-ported back (or is it forward) to the 1980′s and stole Mr. Belvedere’s clothes.

BTW, was she the milkman’s baby? There’s no way those are her real parents.

17 seconds in, June gives Ward the “they’re getting it on tonight” look.

When they leave, the dude is totally checking out her, um, cat. Take a look about 22 seconds in. That just ain’t right people.

Then it gets really creepy. Mr. Flake goes into obsession mode and starts turning his domicile into a giant kitty tree-house!

We bring little Miss Cleaver back with the cutest, snuggliest little itty-bitty kitten you ever did see. Awwwww. What a happy little palate cleanser.

Suddenly Flaky-man attempts a roommate switch with a proposal. “Will you marry us?” Dude. What are you wanting to do with this poor little kitten?

But everything’s okay. She’s into it.

Product placement. There’s the Fancy Feast because we all know all the best WASP households feed their cats Fancy Feast.

Final scene. Get your barf bags ready ’cause this is gonna’ make you puke, people.

At 49 seconds, they’re eating Chinese take-out together!

I think I just threw up some in my mouth.

I can see the marketing strategy meeting in my head.

Okay we’ve got the most artery clogging most fattening least healthy food next to Hardee’s. We charge too much for it. Our restaurants are cramped little dives. Our service sucks. Let’s figure out how to sell this thing!

How about a song that forces unclever lyrics that rhyme with food?

It’s gold, Jerry! Pure gold!

Just to be sure, let’s add more bacon.