I can see the marketing strategy meeting in my head.
Okay we’ve got the most artery clogging most fattening least healthy food next to Hardee’s. We charge too much for it. Our restaurants are cramped little dives. Our service sucks. Let’s figure out how to sell this thing!
How about...
Devices promising to make you thin and sexy aren’t limited to lazy, stupid Americans. Turns out the body-without-effort message appeals on a global scale.
And while the products themselves range from the ridiculous to the bizarrely absurd, I have to admit, most commercials involving T&A are at least fun to watch.
Enjoy these titillating entertaining foreign TV commercials promising to make your a.. buttocks nice and shaply while you relax by the pool.
Ever test drive a pre-owned vehicle, glance in the back seat and wonder what that little stain is all about?
Well wonder no more.
Dale Wurfel makes no bones (ha!) about the fact that his cars have been around the block a few times. In fact, he thinks you should look for car with more, er, experience.
Today’s WTF moment embarrassing little secret is brought to you by Insafe – the European network of Awareness Centres promoting safe, responsible use of the Internet and mobile devices to young people (according to their own website).
At the Firehouse Fish-n-Fixens in Gastonia, NC, you can get your choice of a stylish set of 5 legs or a delicious cat filet for only $6.99. With prices that cheap, I guess they couldn’t afford more letters for their reader board.
[Sorry for the poor quality on this photo. I snapped it with my Blackberry on the way to take my son to school.]
Willy Wonka. Scratch and Sniff T-shirts. And toys that would never pass safety inspections today.
Milky was a plastic cow that drank water and pumped out milk when you squeezed her teets. The “milk” was apparently created by little white tablets you placed inside the cow. Then you pumped her tail and she drank the water from the trough. She let’s out a moo and you can go to town milkin’.
This cow milked her fame for all it was worth in 1977 then disappeared from the barnyard scene. Even an endorsement deal with General Mills couldn’t save her one-hit-wonder career. Maybe because that white substance, although non-toxic, tasted really nasty on cereal.
Did you ever try drinking the milk from Milky? Comment below.
The following instructions came with the laptop battery I purchased this week for my Sony Vaio. My spell checker is going nuts, but this is exactly the way it appeared on the page.
INSTRUCTIOIN FOR BATTERY
This product is controlled by the microcomputer. It has intelligent management of capacity.
When the product is newly used, it should be recharged as the following circle.
First, charge the battery fully.
Second, discharge the battery completely.
Third, charge the battcry fully.
Fourth, discharge the battery complctely.
Following thecircle, the battery can reach its best status, and prolong its useful life.
The battery should be recharged as the above circle more than oncc per month.
When the battery status is 100%, it is charged continuously by small amount of currency controlled by microcomputer until fully charged.
Use for computer only!
CAUTION:
Don’t charge and discharge the battery removing from the computer!
ATTENTION:
Recharge the bettery as the circle more than once per month to make the management of capacity reach its best status, and prolong the battery useful life.
Remove the battery when don’t use if for long time,or the currency will be lost and the cell will be damaged.
If the capacity is low in current, CPU will be in electricity-saving model and battery can not be charged. 1n that case,take off the battery and fit on to rouse the CPU. The battery can be charged then.
In 1985, I fell in love with the Chicago Bears. The Monsters of the Midway were electric as they dominated the NFL with a style all their own. Defensive tackle, William “The Refrigerator” Perry, became the archetype of lovable toughness.
The Fridge did his share of great commercials for floundering food products. Check out this pitch for the McDLT.
And he even managed to make New Coke look appealing.
Fast forward 20 years and the light in this Fridge has gone out. He’s now the pitchman for his own brand of BBQ sauce sold at fine stores in the Atlanta, GA area.
This ad was presumably put together using the magic combination of MicroSoft Paint and the same VHS camcorder he had in 1985. Notice the Bat-man-esque labeling of objects you can easily identify. And I challenge you to get that catchy slogan out of your head.
Ah Chicago. Home to Barack Obama, the building formerly known as the Sears Tower and this horrifying gem of a commercial.
Eagle Man is the Plan 9 from Outer Space of local advertising. The 1993 commercial for Eagle Insurance is considered by some to be the worst commercial ever made.
Let’s dissect a bit. Rejected adult film actress doesn’t have insurance. Giant furry wrecks her car and lays an egg. Said furry offers her cut-rate insurance that probably won’t pay for the damage he just caused. Yeah, that sums it up.
Just when you thought it was safe to start watching your TV. Eagle Woman! Or is it Eagle Man exploring his other side? We may never know.
90′s Guy spies hot babe (in an Eastern European sense). Guy wrecks car without insurance and still manages to keep his toupee. Eagle Woman drops an egg on him. Babe holds eggs suggestively. Still the guy won’t get his damaged fixed because he didn’t have insurance when he wrecked.
Wonder what Eagle does for texting accidents.
In the end 90′s Guy lands on his feet. After all, he did go on to become the state’s governor.
According to a statement released by Think Geek, “We’d like to publicly apologize to the NPB for the confusion over unicorn and pork–and for their awkward extended pause on the phone after we had explained our unicorn meat doesn’t actually exist.”
Devices promising to make you thin and sexy aren’t limited to lazy, stupid Americans. Turns out the body-without-effort message appeals on a global scale.
